Chapter Seventeen

Somebody Else's Son

Hayden B.
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The Balfour Interview
Watch on your mother's phone. Think about calling your lawyer. Realise you don't know if you have one.
Free Sudden Panic
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Featured
⚰️
The Afternoon Coma
Sleep through the entire afternoon and evening. Wake at midnight thinking you're in London.
Free 0 kcal
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Popular
Zombie
The Midnight Wander
Leave the house at 1am. Walk aimlessly for an hour. No destination required.
$0.00 1200 kJ Anxiety
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🍟 Courtenay Place Menu
🥂
Friday Night Weave
Navigate through revellers in the entertainment district. Side of anonymity not included.
No Alcohol 100% Chaos
$0.00 High Stress
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Limited
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The Batsman's Arms Special
Stand outside the sports bar. Stare at your own poster. Andrew McBride stares back.
1× Dignity -500 Self Worth
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HOT
🤡
iPhone Paparazzi
Rhythm and Vines t-shirt, sharp blue jeans, a look that could cut glass.
Flash Photography
∞ Regret Permanent Record
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☕ Breakfast Menu
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Oriental Parade Walk
Wander the harbour until dawn. Peer at lit windows. Wonder why anybody else would be awake. Large serving of existential dread.
4 hrs Existential Dread
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💬
The 5am Text
"Hey. You there or what? I've been up all night."
1× Pride Sent 5:02 AM
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Rejected
🏔️
Colorado Springs Rejection
"Honestly Hayden, not a great look."
$0.00 Cold Shoulder
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36 Pages
Radioactive
The Forum Thread (Supersized)
The brutality is almost intoxicating.
NSFW Toxic Content
All Hope Nuclear Fallout
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Customer Reviews

★☆☆☆☆ (36 pages)
T
taniatots
Today at 1:57 AM
★☆☆☆☆
Are you a psychic?! Here we have the man himself, ten minutes ago, walking out of the club. Is he for real?
TC
Tea Craft
Today at 4:13 AM
★☆☆☆☆
Holy shit that is hilarious. Imagine trashing your reputation, getting drunk, high, knocking someone out while representing your country, lying about it, causing us to lose a very winnable rugby match, being sent home in shame and GOING OUT CLUBBING IMMEDIATELY. He should know he's being watched. What a goddamn clown.
J
JennyChrissy702
28 minutes ago
★☆☆☆☆
Can confirm. Daughter works at McDonald's on Manners Street. He was there half an hour ago. He has a reputation already and he treats my daughter like shit, treats everyone like they're trash and I'm pleased to see the back of him if this is his extinction event. He's a disrespectful little troll and I hope he burns in hell.
🔋 Battery Critical
FINAL
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The Walk of Shame
Phone dead. Begin the hour-long walk home. Morning sun hot on your back. You're already in hell.
Everything Critical Failure
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MISSED
🏉
France v New Zealand
It's 7:15am in Wellington. 7:15pm in Paris. The match kicked off fifteen minutes ago, without you.
1× Career Game Over
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© 2026 The Breakdown Corporation. At participating restaurants only. Prices may vary by loss of dignity. May contain traces of regret, shame, and public intoxication. Serving suggestion only: actual career trajectory may differ from images shown. No refunds on wasted potential.